To Do List

For some reason I have hesitated on my home "to do" list. It's not written but here are some which I can remember.

1. Fix Heat (this one I'm regretting right now as the weather is reaching the 50's)
2. Fix toilet from running
3. Fix washer
4. Fix water which somehow goes from kitchen sink to utility room
5. Repair roof

This has been my list for about the past year or so. Seems simple enough. I think I would be be better with the list if I knew how to fix any of these. Yes, I know, I'm being codo by not hiring someone to do this work for me. But in my younger years my dad never hired anyone. Maybe I feel I should be able to do the work myself, which takes forever. Sometimes I'm just lazy. I did finish one job: I was able to install some new lights.

I don't feel invested in the list. Right now I could be doing something towards the list and I'm watching The Benchwarmers which I'm starting to wonder how a movie about 3 adults playing against little league teams makes sense.

Por que no me siento vivo? Hace tres dias queria escribir algo como: 7 secretos en 7 dias solamente para decir algo que nunca puedo decir. Estoy feliz? Hay unos dias que si, pero en otros no. Aveces pienso que es depresion porque cambia como el vuelo de un cotorro. Creo que la lista le importa mas a mi pareja, pero no estoy seguro la manera que me afecta. Pero creo ya es suficiente sin hacer nada. En Enero comienzo con la lista pero esta vez llamandole a algien que sabe como reparar todas estas problemas. Y aver como la pareja reacciona. Si no es en manera feliz, pues no se.

Tal vez esta será mi primer secreto.

Social Networking

is crazy, so I avoided it as long as I could. But now I am on facebook. If you want my contact information, just place a comment on here.

I haven't been in the mood so much to write, but at one reading it was said we should aspire to write every day. Lately I have aspired to forget that I have a thesis to complete. Not that I won't complete it, but I think just taking time to forget about it and go back. I have looked over some of my older poems and I wanted to place one on here since I haven't done that in a while. The poem I have in mind might have been written while I was in Austin. Just busy with holiday things so far. This blog is wandering like I do through most of the day. Confused about the possibility of a Ph.D program. Am I good enough or do I really want to complete it. It just might be que estoy buscando algo que hacer. Pero la verdad es que quiero publicar y quiero un negocio. Que chistoso, que las cosas que quiero tambien les tengo mucho miedo. Aver, voy a escribir el poema pero no es el original.

Sangre
que tengo de mi padre,
la sangre que tal vez
es un poco de moreno
porque a mi padre le dicen chino
tu cabello que es medio circulos
sobre cada uno.
tengo sangre de machista
y infiel. la sangre
de mi tio clemente
y hijos que si no son de una
son de otra.
sangre que me vuelve loco
porque no me la puedo sacar,
ni con palabras de matrimonio,
ni pelo que me corto.
de cualquier manera las patillas
se me enchina
y los glóbulos de rojo
blanco, y verde
es una mezcla
de corajudo,
silencio, y
tranquilidad peligrosa