Monday, July 23, 2012

This weekend

i teared up/cried during the latest Batman film. I couldn't help it thinking about the events in Colorado and the different scenarios which may or may not have saved lives. It almost seemed to fit with the movie. The need to come together as a community rather than depend on one individual. We need hope.



On a completely different street, I read/watched Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I hadn't read a book for leisure in what seems a few years. Usually i was reading for class or research. I had forgotten how easy it was to read rather than laboring on analysis. It was a good book, but not amazing. The movie was horrible. First because it deviated from the book so much. Second, it was just a bad movie.

I enjoyed the experience of the theater more than watching the film. I arrived about 7 minutes late, and apparently at the dollar movies they start right on time. Then about 20 minutes into the movie the entire screen went dark. The people just kinda sat and waited for it to start again, sometimes saying like "I want my $1.50 back". *l* that was pretty funny.

After a bit, the movie started back up. Luckily I was sitting next to a fairly inexperienced mom. The kind you say, "if your child almost just choked on a candy, why would you let them get hold of the candies a second time....and let them almost choke, again." The baby then proceeded to be necio (it's a spanish word, look it up) and cried off and on, with her getting up and moving past me a few times.

I had the isle seat, by the way. The best part was when the baby dropped the bottle, and to find it, the inexperienced mom's mom was crawling on the outside edge of the isle and practically between my legs. I felt a bit raunchy at that moment. Eventually someone took the baby and sadly I started paying closer attention to the film. Not so good.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

i found

another photograph. finding these pictures makes me want to write on here the most. it sometimes feels like this is the hidden part of me, yet hope others see. *and then back again i hope they don't see this*



Nothing unusual about this boy. I found the photo near my house so i wonder if he lives near some of the new apartments/condos on my street. Maybe the house was being cleaned and this picture was expandable. Probably has changed a lot in the two years since.

Even for me thinking about the past few months, it feels like a lot is changing for others and i remain stagnant. It's easy to be envious of the success others have found. I look at what i have accomplished and it never seems enough. These "wonderful" ideas seem like daydreams after a while. Am I missing support or am I missing drive? Probably drive. It's always easy to blame others. Maybe i want to much. I want to be a successful writer but then I want to be an academic as well. I was never good at multi-tasking.

And i'm even afraid of losing what i already have. just because you earned something doesn't mean you will always keep it. Success usually doesn't come early, but right now i wish it did.

my advice to young me (+ current me): you should do more.