Tuesday, July 17, 2012

i found

another photograph. finding these pictures makes me want to write on here the most. it sometimes feels like this is the hidden part of me, yet hope others see. *and then back again i hope they don't see this*



Nothing unusual about this boy. I found the photo near my house so i wonder if he lives near some of the new apartments/condos on my street. Maybe the house was being cleaned and this picture was expandable. Probably has changed a lot in the two years since.

Even for me thinking about the past few months, it feels like a lot is changing for others and i remain stagnant. It's easy to be envious of the success others have found. I look at what i have accomplished and it never seems enough. These "wonderful" ideas seem like daydreams after a while. Am I missing support or am I missing drive? Probably drive. It's always easy to blame others. Maybe i want to much. I want to be a successful writer but then I want to be an academic as well. I was never good at multi-tasking.

And i'm even afraid of losing what i already have. just because you earned something doesn't mean you will always keep it. Success usually doesn't come early, but right now i wish it did.

my advice to young me (+ current me): you should do more.

No comments: