Thursday, January 29, 2009

Update


I want to see if there are any fountains in Mercedes. I imagine myself
secretly going through the city looking for the perfect one. Next to it
I can find some measure of peace, turbulent waters shifting besides me.
I can close my eyes and find myself living in a house on the hill. I can
drink from it, and think, there is no secret.



Saturday, January 24, 2009

Work is Not Fun

But trying to prepare for a poetry reading is. Can we make it a performance of it all, with music, art, and spoken word? I think so, but will other's support us, for free? lol, if we can support them for free as well I imagine. Still thinking about pocho *I just received a copy in the mail, rescanned the book. For a while, I had forgotten the majority of the novel. It came back to me. I was disappointed. Pocho has changed and I will be thinking about it for the next year. Thinking life things. Brother going to college, is this a good life, what does the past mean. Life questions. Saw Slumdog Millionaire, which I won't bother reviewing because you just have to go see it. It's that simple. Go see it. I also watched Max Payne...and then I ask why I hate myself so much that I watch crap. Literally a waste of two hours *or however long the movie was*
This is fairly random useless information for everyone. The truth is I want to go away for a bit. I'm starting to accept San Antonio, only because of the art. But as I talk to people I bring up New Orleans constantly...so i want to go there. Because of the strangers, sometimes the drink, the animals, casino, hostel, again the strangers, and the distance. It's good not to be anyone.
i want to be away, but imu.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

New Year

Another kind of new year, with U.S inaugurating Barack Obama. I dreamt of text messages. That was a first. Already I am forgetting their messages, but they are dear. I am working as a student assistant (although not yet finished with the paperwork)and i'm getting used to asking an employer what they need all the time. lol. I will write more, but I didn't want to leave this for so long. I am expecting to write more. So far this semester has been more manageable, but then again it is early. I don't see depth in any of my thoughts (recent). I have to prepare a short presentation for the Gallery class tomorrow. random thoughts. I want to be part of a forum/workshop.

*back later with more*

Wait, now I thought of something. Looking for a place for a poetry reading that can accommodate art and music.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

i can't title this

I don't want to go one to long about this, but every so often I hear border Chicanos/Mexican-Americans talking about "ay, estos mexicanos, they don't know how to drive" and etc. It is excused by most because it's a feeling that they are talking about their own kind, although from a different place...but what about this review i read while searching for a hotel in South Padre Island?

"online travel was questioned, requiring us to provide proof of confirm. We found out that this facility is also a Mexican owned, Mexican run time share. That might explain the unfamiliarity with online travel."

The hotel in question is the Peninsula Island Resort, and it was visited by someone/family from Neenah, WI.

I don't even know what to say...i'm stunned. I didn't really believe this logic was still possible as public reasoning. I'm sure all type of private thoughts exist, but they want this to be heard.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Pocho

Before I continue reading on this subject I want to express my own ideas on this word "pocho". I have often heard "pocho" as a derogatory remark. If you go to Mexico and don't know Spanish well, you are pocho. If you live in the U.S and do not know Spanish well, you are pocho. It seems to hinder on the ability to speak Spanish as the Mexicano, not someone from Spain. If you speak Castellano, then you could be something else, but not a pocho.
So, what is pocho to me? Gueros don't speak Spanish, but they are not expected to like Chicanos. A Mexican-American can be a pocho...he is the ancestor of the pocho, first created when blood was mixed. Some will say between European and Indigenous people, but I believer there is more to it. To be pocho, you must have the blood of both in the land of neither. Los Estados Unidos makes me pocho, the border makes me pocho.
Unfortunately, pocho is knowing too much and to little of either. If a Mexican-American knew nothing of heritage, at least the name coco would fit. Pero un pocho? Ese esta fregado de todos lados.

I realized I have more to say when another blogger mentioned the word lost. Pocho is usually related with lost, but what about found? Can a pocho be more than a person of half cultures. Can the pocho create their own, and be respected? I think my search is for that culture. I don't cringe as much when I overhear the word pocho, and I think I am being talked about. I believe there is more positive to being pocho. I am realizing I must not be ashamed of this duality, and perhaps trinity. La frontera es pocha, no? Tal vez otras culturas han aceptado lo que nosotros odiamos.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

From El Sol Studios

Some of my purchases at San Antonio



"untitled" by Veronica Ceci



"Gettin Medieval" by Veronica Ceci


Postcards







Return

Back from a short vacation to San Antonio, which I have never felt at home in, but a bit better this time around. Was able to enjoy the Riverwalk during the day and at night, without being at the clubs. Most worthwhile part was finding the arts district, in particular El Sol Studios where I bought two prints by Veronica Ceci which i will place up later. Back home and at work, already feeling how hectic school/work will be.